So many thoughts have been racing through my head since yesterday when my dermatologist called me with news that one of the 2 moles they removed had melanoma cancer. At first I wasn't scared, then a little bit of reality and tears hit me. But within the hour, I was jumping on the tramp with Carson and Austin.....then feeding Jackson.... and off to Carson's T-ball game. It's amazing how life just goes on.
It seems odd that one of the things I love most in life (the sun) would be the thing to cause me pain. I just hope that yesterday morning when I went outside and did back flips on the tramp and layed in the sun for a few glorious moments, that it will not be the last time I can feel relaxed and one with the environment around me. I just don't want a nagging constant feeling that I have to be afraid of my dear friend, the sun.
I don't have very many answers right now. What I feel is that I will be fine. I go back in on Thursday, and they will probably do more biopsy then. So, after that still more waiting.
I have this strange feeling. Hard to put into words....more energy.. more understanding of the big picture...more love...more wanting the best for everyone around me...gratitude that it is me and not my kids or husband.
I know this will be a hard experience for me, but I am sure there is something I need to learn and am excited if I get to be a better person in the end.
I get to fly to L.A. tomorrow for my race. (12 girls running 189 miles from Santa Barbara to Dana Point) I am sooooooooooooooooo excited!!! I am so glad I have something like this right now to take my mind off what is going on. (Yes, I will be putting on sunblock.)
I have been training so hard and hope that my efforts will pay off! I am so lucky to have such amazing friends that will help watch my kids while I am gone. THANKS GIRLS!! I will miss ALL my boys tons, but I also get to see my little sister Denise in San Diego that just had an adorable baby girl. I can't wait!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wowzer!
Posted by The Neff Family at 1:16 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Good to get those moles checked!
Stuart had some cancerous ones removed a year or two ago. Since then, he's been back a few times to make sure things are still ok.
It is scary, but not so bad when you catch them quickly enough!
Good luck on your race!
Well that just sucks. Plain and simple.
Luckily, you're an incredibly healthy young girl and a few spotty moles have got nothing on you! Time to give melanoma a swift kick in the arse!
First of all... we leave in less than 12 hours! WOOHOO! I can't freakin wait. We are going to have such a blast! It seems like the perfect time to get away from reality, huh?!
I'm sure all will be fine and you will pull through this even stronger than you are! I love you and am so grateful for you and your friendship.
PS-we must be getting old. It seems like alot has happened over the last couple of years. I think I've just always taken my health for granted! A swift kick is right! Its got nothing on you! You ROCK! c u at 7!
Amanda,
Wow-please keep us updated on what you find out. we'll be praying for you! Good luck on the race-you'll be awesome!!!!
Sara
Good luck on the run!! You'll do great, you've been very dedicated and I've seen your form.
We'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. Your beautiful loving personality, family and friends will carry you through all life's trials. Keep us posted on the Dr. results.
Mana,
See, this is what I love about blogs. I got way more out of reading what wrote on your blog than our phone conversation. Maybe I just need to listen better, but an audience that doesn't interrupt gets to know how you are really feeling.
Scary stuff. But I love your attitude. Have so much fun on your race tomorrow!!!
I can't believe it!! You are so positive and such an awesome person! You are so loved by everyone around you! Have so much fun at your race!
Good luck on your race!! Sorry to hear about your mole check, but it is good you caught it now rather than later!! Your gonna be just fine, I just know it.. Sure do love you tons girl!!
That just stinks about your mole. I bet everything will be fine. Keep us posted. It's kind of sad that it takes something to make us all look at life differently than to see it that way all the time.
Great job on your race!!
I have been thinking about you so much lately. We need to get together. Keep us posted all of this. I know you will kick it.
Your run sounds like a blast. I would love do something like that. You will have to let me know all aobut it.
Kim
You are in our thoughts and prayers and good luck on your big race...what an inspiration you are...I need to get my body back in shape.
Hello my friend! I'm hoping all is going well with you. You are an amazing person! I can't believe how you take life. I'm thinking about ya! By the way AWESOME job on your race. I can't believe how quickly you got back into shape after your baby...good for you!
Post a Comment