Wowzer!

So many thoughts have been racing through my head since yesterday when my dermatologist called me with news that one of the 2 moles they removed had melanoma cancer. At first I wasn't scared, then a little bit of reality and tears hit me. But within the hour, I was jumping on the tramp with Carson and Austin.....then feeding Jackson.... and off to Carson's T-ball game. It's amazing how life just goes on.

It seems odd that one of the things I love most in life (the sun) would be the thing to cause me pain. I just hope that yesterday morning when I went outside and did back flips on the tramp and layed in the sun for a few glorious moments, that it will not be the last time I can feel relaxed and one with the environment around me. I just don't want a nagging constant feeling that I have to be afraid of my dear friend, the sun.

I don't have very many answers right now. What I feel is that I will be fine. I go back in on Thursday, and they will probably do more biopsy then. So, after that still more waiting.

I have this strange feeling. Hard to put into words....more energy.. more understanding of the big picture...more love...more wanting the best for everyone around me...gratitude that it is me and not my kids or husband.

I know this will be a hard experience for me, but I am sure there is something I need to learn and am excited if I get to be a better person in the end.

I get to fly to L.A. tomorrow for my race. (12 girls running 189 miles from Santa Barbara to Dana Point) I am sooooooooooooooooo excited!!! I am so glad I have something like this right now to take my mind off what is going on. (Yes, I will be putting on sunblock.)

I have been training so hard and hope that my efforts will pay off! I am so lucky to have such amazing friends that will help watch my kids while I am gone. THANKS GIRLS!! I will miss ALL my boys tons, but I also get to see my little sister Denise in San Diego that just had an adorable baby girl. I can't wait!!!